The most common reasons why couples fight usually root from misunderstanding. One may misinterpret his/her partner’s words or actions, which leads to confrontation. One may also fail to comprehend what the other’s points of view or feelings are, which could make him/her seem indifferent or difficult to interact with. However, there are times when there is a real reason to fight. It could be a mistake of a spouse in handling the household’s money or conflicting approaches to bringing up a child.
In many cases, both persons in the relationship have some fault in the fight. This shared ownership of the problem can be uncovered through marriage counseling in Orange County, where the marriage counselor allows the partners to realize and admit that each of them has misinterpreted the situation or committed some lapse. There could be instances, though, when one of them feels like he/she is the only one holding the relationship back or putting strains on it. Sometimes, one of them would experience stress that could eventually become distressing for both of them.
What do you do if you’re the source of the problem?
You may have certain personal issues or anxieties that could hold relationships back. You might beat yourself up because of past mistakes or because of feeling like you’re not good enough. You might be used to controlling everything, having things your way, and doing everything on your own. You might have a job that doesn’t pay as well as your spouse, or you might not be confident in your parenting abilities.
These ideas could constantly consume your mind, and sooner or later, you and your partner could encounter strains because of it. Your partners may console you and reassure you every time you feel depressed or pressured, but you may always feel that he/she doesn’t really mean it or that his/her words are only because of sympathy. There is always a struggle about your perception of yourself and your efforts.
If you’re experiencing these issues, you can’t let it destroy your relationship. An experienced life coach in Orange County like Judi Wolder of Cedar Light Life Coaching may be able to help with individual or couple counseling. These sessions usually work by allowing you to know yourself better and discover the solutions to your anxieties through the support and guidance of your coach.
In a peaceful, neutral environment, the life coach acts like a sounding board that closely listens to your anxieties, lets you come to terms with them, and finally, allows you to let them go. By conquering your worries and adjusting your mindset into a more nondestructive, mentally healthful one, you can focus on preserving and strengthening your relationship with your partner.
(Source: WHY COACHING WORKS, International Coach Federation (ICF), March 30, 2015)
